the year 2017 ended on a very painful note, I lost my grandmother(Dadi Maa) on 26th of December. While its understandable of me going through grief, loss, regrets and sadness for it has just been three weeks. Experiencing death of her has in a way shaken me and reinforced my belief that life indeed is a mirage.
Channeling Painful Emotions
Grief is a difficult emotional process and trying to get over it, suppress or distract yourself can be counter intuitive as you are never truly able to get over the loss of a loved one. I can’t talk about exactly how to achieve closure but I can definitely share with you the process of mourning and channeling painful emotions of loss.
1. Accept and Own your Grief
Sit with your emotions for as long as you want. Allow yourself to feel the pain, cry it out and do not push away any of the feelings you are having. I am going through a phase where I am hyper happy one day and the next day I feel guilt, sadness coupled with emptiness.
These feelings are also a result of the culture we are living in today which constantly barrages us to keep on analyzing our thoughts and replace the sad or negative thoughts with positive ones. Its honestly tiring to go through a roller coaster of emotions along with their whys.
Just sit with your pain and feel it for as long as you want without the fear of judgement.
2. Connect With Allah
Grief always makes your connection with Allah stronger. When grieving we are always mindful and focused which ultimately gives us forbearance and the faith that our loved one is in peace. Prayers, blessings and your longing for them do reach them.
3. Share Your Grief With Your Family and Loved Ones
While most people in your life might be able to empathize with your loss but at the end of the day they are unable to feel your pain. Share and reminisce of the happy memories with your family and loved ones who actually share your grief. Also, don’t put unrealistic expectations on your friends and other people in your life to understand what you are going through. Your grief is personal and precious in many ways and only you and your loved ones have a right to feel its depth.
4. Write it Down
Writing is not just for people who regularly have the habit of penning down their emotions but also for anyone who can’t find a way to effectively channel and understand their feelings. Writing about your pain can sometimes make you emotional but this is what writing should do. It should bring clarity to your thoughts. I also feel that whatever you write in a state of grief about your late loved one can somehow help you in achieving closure. Celebrate by writing the happy memories, the words unsaid in the rawness of your grief and it might reach them. That is why I believe writing about someone you have lost is precious.
My Dadi Maa would always say the things that were necessary to be said. She was powerful in a very subtle way and that is what inspires me as a woman every single day. Forever My Love and prayers your way Dadi Maa!